George Brett Shits Himself Story

by DP on September 20, 2008 · 27 comments

Chics, Baseball & Accidents

Chics, Baseball & Accidents

There’s something about this that makes me like this guy. It’s one thing to shit yourself, but it’s another to tell it to an audience and make it entertaining. Genius story!

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**UPDATE** Video Still Works!
(video hosted at spoiledvids.com, not here)


Here’s the audio: (sorry for the hissing noise)

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Listen/Download Audio

 

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Here’s the story transcribed
I shit my pants last night
I did
went out and had a great meal
just a great fuckin meal
I had to go to the bathroom so bad in the car
I’m going travel hurry up I gotta shit
and I had, just fuckin shit in my pants

I’m good uh, twice a year for that
when was the last time you shit your pants
been a while?
“yeah, it’s been a long time”
I was in vegas a couple years ago
this is an honest to god true story
staying at the bellagio
and went over to the mirage for dinner
and met some friends of mine over there
went to cocomos
a great little steak house
the guy brings out some fresh crab legs and says
“these just came in I gotta give ‘em to you guys”
brings a set and I’m eatin ‘em
then we go play..gamble a little bit
had a tee time early in the morning
so I said, ‘look, I gotta get going’
I’m walkin back to the hotel and I get three quarters of the way out of the lobby
all the sudden I go, ‘aww fuck!’
and I’m standing here like this
I got my butt pinched like this so fuckin, I’m fucked, I can’t move
all the sudden, you know, it felt alright
I went just like this and (he makes the sound of opening flood gates)
water . . . I had food poisoning from the crabs
take off my leather jacket
tied it around my waist
and I’m just standing there
and it’s just running down my leg
I got jeans on
black bucks, no socks
and I just start fuckin walking
and every time I’m walk, somethings coming out
it’s water
just straight fuckin water
then, to show you how sick I was
then I’m standing outside and make a call on my cell phone
I call a guy
I said larry you’re not gonna believe this
I’m standing outside the lobby of the bellagio
I can’t move, I got shit everywhere
I got shit all over myself
and larry’s about a 48 waist
so he brings me over a pair of pants and some towels
and he comes over, and meets me, I tell him where I’m standing
he finds the closest bathroom
when you go up the escalator and go up the fuckin…I can’t get in the fuckin elevator
it’s twelve o’clock at night
he goes in and finds the closest bathroom in the lobby of the hotel
and then I get in the escalator
and he kinda pretends like he drops something
so no one gets behind me
he tells me where it is and he goes in there
goes and gets the towel all wet for me
throws it over the fuckin stall
I take off all my fuckin clothes, just wipe off
leave my shoes, my pants, everything, right there
the towels just right there in the stall
and I’m walking barefoot, with my shirt and with his pants that are a 48 waist
through the lobby like this (as he acts like he’s holding his pants up) at midnight
got up in the morning and took the most perfect double tapered shit I’ve ever had in my life

true story

who’s the pitchers in this game?
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{ 15 trackbacks }

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September 24, 2008 at 9:37 pm
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September 26, 2008 at 12:03 pm
I’ve Got Your Bailout Right Here « POP CULTURE PANOPTICON
October 2, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Banana in Your Pocket » Blog Archive » he’s good twice a year for that
November 10, 2008 at 12:59 pm
Super funny clips - Page 31
December 8, 2008 at 12:59 pm
George Brett shits his pants - IH8MUD Forums
February 11, 2009 at 11:17 am
take me out to the honkbalveld (your guide to dutch baseball terms) « the situation has deteriorated
March 11, 2009 at 5:59 pm
TheScore.com Blog - The Score
May 19, 2009 at 10:28 am
More George Brett Genius Video | The Unofficial Ticket Blog
May 19, 2009 at 11:29 am
The FAFU: Fat Bastards, Whores, and Your Average Life « Fourth And Fifty
May 20, 2009 at 1:35 pm
I’ve Got Some Major Wood « Fourth And Fifty
May 21, 2009 at 11:24 am
Fast Food Freakouts & McNugget Meltdowns! Billoney Links | ~o ~o ~o SeMeN SPeRmS BLArRrG! o~ o~ o~
January 11, 2010 at 2:36 pm
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April 28, 2011 at 4:34 pm
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May 12, 2011 at 1:01 pm

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 SaraCloseYourEyes September 23, 2008 at 5:30 pm

I can’t stop snort laughing!! I’m having a hard time typing this.

Thank you for sharing this video.

Reply

2 FRANKIEH September 23, 2008 at 6:13 pm

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

This guy is such a good shit story teller.

He speaks what no one else would ever think to say.

We ALL have shit ourselves at some point in our life.

Genius. Pure Genius.

Reply

3 GeorgiePooPiePants September 23, 2008 at 7:55 pm

Hilarious story 10/10!!! George outta consider wearing DEPENDS from now on!!! ROFL!!

Reply

4 dumpster September 23, 2008 at 8:11 pm

THIS IS GENIUS! MY BELLY HURTS FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH!

GEORGE BRETT IS NOW MY HERO!

Reply

5 BLIMP September 23, 2008 at 8:16 pm

I shit myself last week. Laughed some wet stuff right out.

Takes balls to tell other people with such conviction.

Cheers!

Reply

6 G October 21, 2008 at 5:56 pm

George Brett – you are MY HERO!!

Reply

7 Mark November 10, 2008 at 9:03 pm

hahaha, the guys didn’t want to listen to that story at all. They tried to leave like 3 times=P.

Reply

8 George February 23, 2009 at 10:45 am

GREAT STORY!! Great Lines too!! “When was the last time you shit yourself?”
“I shit myself about twice a year..” “Couldn’t move…”

Best Lines…”Next morning I had a perfect double tapered shit” AND the
absolute BEST of ALL (gotta love baseball)…”Who’s pitchin”today?!!”

Reply

9 Terry April 8, 2009 at 6:17 am

So wait, who is the pitchers for this game?

Reply

10 peter April 16, 2009 at 8:38 am

Notice how his teammates laugh and nod, but keep trying to get away–as you would with any crazy person. And then it’s right back to baseball, “who’s the pitchers?” Gotta love the old school guys.

Reply

11 Rudy in Pennsylvania May 4, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Excellent ha ha ha

Reply

12 Dave Z August 31, 2009 at 10:16 am

St. Louis Cardinals 1985 World Series Champions

Reply

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