Musers talked to Tiger Woods while in the sex clinic getting rehab.

Poor guy sounds really upset he can’t touch his private place while in there.

He does say he’s been listening to the Ticket online a lot while in there, which helps pass time.

His letter he’d write to himself when he was 16 would be not to fall in love with a Swedish bitch no matter how hot she is.

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Funny that the first interview from Tiger Woods after he was beaten by his wife Elin Woods, would be with the Musers.

Tiger talks about how bad he’s doing lately. Gaining weight and really letting himself go, but still trying to ‘bang’ every woman he can.

His description of a woman is pretty detailed. All the way up to a sign hung around the downstairs area every 28 days.

Tiger thinks Earl is the most disappointed, then goes on to describe his pops in his most unusual way.

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P1 Geoff Frink followed up the Earl audio with some Elin audio.

Fake Tiger explains about his wife, Elin.

Elin is a Swedish model who took on his baby making abilities. Looking at these pics of his wife, why the FUK would he want to stray away with some Vegas nookie girls??

More greatness from Geoff.

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This is some more audio from the great P1, Geoff Frink.

If you listen to the fake Tiger Woods, you’re very familiar with him talking about his dad, Earl. And how Earl got Tiger’s mom pregnant with a PGA player.

Gordo always paints a very [un] pretty picture of how it all happens.

Geoff cut some audio together to let you visualize how Gordo thinks Tiger came into the world.

Genius audio. Genius Gordo too.

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Fake Tiger talks to the Musers about the incident that happened to him at his home.

Tiger was asleep in his race car bed on the other side of the house when Elin pops in.

He explains how she started throwing things at him and then hit him with a sand wedge.

After going back for another club and Tiger jumped in his Cadillac Escalade trying to run for his safety.

He wakes up to the first true kiss between him and his super model wife.

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After a discussion about hats and Romo wearing his hat backwards, a friend of the show called in.

It’s the fake Tiger Woods who says he got Romo into wearing hats.

He spoke about going to the U2 show with Romo and asked about the fat guy tearing through the buffet, which happened to be Wade.

Then Tiger dismounts with a joke shot towards his buddy.

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Fake Tiger was up crying all night. With his tears being pissed.

He wonders who this guy is, but also points out he’s the first Asian to win a major, not YE Yang.

Then he says Yang looks like he was in Sixteen Candles.

Tiger got a kick out of Harrington hitting it into the water twice.

Then refers to this tournament as Pearl Harbor 2.

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Fake Tiger spoke with the Musers about missing the cut at the British Open.

He thinks he sucks instead of Stewart Cink sucking.

Then he throws his swing coach, Hank Haney, under the bus.

Poor fake Tiger says his dad, Earl, is in hell.

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Since the US Open moved into today (Monday), the Musers were able to get Tigers cell phone number.

They put a call to Tiger while he was playing and ’shock’, he answered.

You could hear him whiffing shots and getting frustrated like, if you watched over the weekend, it was easy to read his lips throwing every horrible curse word there is.

Then he started asking about who Barnes is leading the tournament. Saying he’d go back to Sherman Williams afterwards with his painters cap. (although he choked and didn’t win)

Tiger ended the call with a really unusual bit of info about his wife using his “clear teetee” for her meal ticket…

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Fake Tiger spoke to the Musers this past Monday.

Thanks to Baby Arm for the audio! “throwing my rocker horns right now”

Anyhow, here’s the audio…

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Tiger & Phil Baby

It’s been a while since we’ve heard fake Tiger on the radio. He’s been in rehab fixing his golf ball.

He plans to be back in time for the Masters in April of 2009.

Tiger’s caddy recently was having a little fued with Phil Mickelson and fake Tiger wants to give his caddy a raise.

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Always good to hear from the fake Tiger Woods.

Even though he’s not playing golf anymore this year, he’s still making news. . . err, babies.

At least we think he is. Or maybe it’s his wife’s body guard?

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Big Jim Jack from Augusta National Golf Club answers the phone for Tiger Woods. He doesn’t quite know what to do with someone so “different”, as Tiger’s ‘kind’.

Tiger then talks to the Musers, which his mom says “Herro”, after winning the Augusta National.

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For the course the Tig-ster couldn’t even gain access to back in the day, runs this bitch like the whites are his Mexicans. Funny how that stuff works, huh. Well I’d like to hang with El Tigre loco. I will shoot 40 under par against his game today.

If I do not fufull my debt to el Tigre, then he has the right to bake me a pan of really cool pot brownies!.

(I can also neither confirm or deny that these comments made one lick of sense and they were written out of a short bus by the short bus front seat patron.

Popularity: 8% [?]

As usual, the Musers always get the exclusive next day interview with the great golfer, Fake Tiger Woods. He never disappoints. Fake Tiger appears to learn how to use bad words now.

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Decided to put all these into one post. Sort of an audio funbag.

The Musers replayed what they say is the worst ticket ticker in the station’s history:

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The Ticket’s maintenance man Clarence Murphy stopped by:

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Fake Jerry Jones called in:

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Fake Tiger Woods called in to talk about money and how he hates hockey:

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Popularity: 14% [?]