One of my classic favorite characters showed up at Cowboys camp, and with the Musers. I always remembered him with the Hardline, but I guess Rhyner kicked him out too.

Microphone Johnson played his sportsy interview he had with Ratliff, the Cowboy’s nose tackle:

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The Fake Byron Nelson & Fake Tiger Woods talk about their new acoustic band playing at Club DaDa. Sounds like they have quite a show of 80’s pop covers.

Then Tiger and Byron talk about a recent round of golf they played and Byron talks about unusual golf shot names.

Hitler, Rock Hudson, Glenn Miller, Condom Shot . . .

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(classic audio)

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The Fake Nolan Ryan called in to explain how he stopped Milton Bradley from beating the local news guys who were bashing him on television.

Milton Bradley evidently was listening to a local news channel talk highly of Josh Hamilton, only to follow up the praise with a tongue lashing about Bradley. Rather than handle it like a normal human, he chose to charge the press box.

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Bradley made his way into the studio the other day. And George and Junior’s inner thoughts were revealed.

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Herschel Walker releases a book talking about all of this personalities. The Musers get to the bottom of it with the man himself.

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With the Mavs up against the wall with the Hornets, an angry fake Cuban called in:

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Kidd calls into the Musers to talk about the end of the game

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The Musers made a call to the fake Tiger Woods to talk to him about John Daly getting kicked out of the PGA tourny:

Audio:

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I guess the title should really read, “Congratulations, Todd” but screw that. I wanted Hong Kong Paul to win this morning’s donut eating contest at Dunkin’ Donuts.

The Musers hosted this hilarious event with Gordon introducing the contestants and Jub doing a great job of “bite by bite” commentary. The competitors were:

Hong Kong Paul (HKP) - needs no introduction. or does he? I don’t think so.
Chris - 6′2″ 150lb high school kid
John - who was playing for America
Todd - the extremely generic “sports salesman”
Shad - trainer

The rules: contestants must eat 6 donuts and then say, “America runs on Dunkin”

Chris jumped out in front early along with Shad…both ended up quitting.
John really didn’t make much of a name for himself throughout the competition.
It came down to Todd and HKP and from what it sounded like, HKP actually finished eating his donuts first but couldn’t utter the required phrase. Todd edged him out in the final seconds.

Shit! I was really pulling for HKG. Oh well….next time, I guess…

Here’s the Audio:

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Today Kris Kris made an appearance and talked about how he was in the NBA and the Lakers were going to sign him. When asked where he played in college, he said he never played college ball, he was a high school phe-nom, even though he never played high school ball, they probably just saw him around in gyms hoop’n it up.

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If you see some 30k millionaire riding around in a cigarette boat driving over piers talking overly loud, it’s probably Kris Kris.

$30,000 Millionaire Movie (Kris Kris Productions)

$30,000 Millionaire Description (Kris Kris Writing Agency)

$30,000 Millionaire Myspace (Kris Kris Web LLC)

$30,000 Millionaire Press (Kris Kris in the News)

Popularity: 8% [?]