If you’ve ever called into the Musers you are quite familiar with the big wall to go through called “Fernando”, or Mike Fernandez.

No matter how good you think your point is, he’ll more than likely tell you it’s already been made or not worthy.

Here’s a look into Fernando’s day:

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The Musers decided to play a little prank on Barb Smith this morning in honor of the 4th of July. While she was doing her traffic report, Gordo lit a firecracker behind her. The follow it up with another prank on Barb with an air horn.

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The Musers were talking about the smoking ban that could be hitting the city soon like many other big cities. It would ban smoking from inside public establishments like restaurants and bars.

Nathan Smokebutt, or Johnny Smokebutt, calls in and gives his hot sports opinions on the possible law:

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Musers opened the phone lines this morning and had a special call from Elmer Wayne, an apparent buddy of Jub Jub.

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Funny Ch. 5 interactions with Mike Snyder, Jane McGarry & Newy Scruggs (which oddly enough was laying next to me at a Chiropractor’s office the other day)

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I just don’t get it. Usually it is the black guy trying to be as white as he can to fit in with the extra white news team. For some reason, Newy has gotten the all white news people trying to act black. They are failing miserably. But it does make for great audio/video.

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Today had a great start waking up to the sounds of Gas Cap Louie on the ticket. The hardcore Nascar fan and the way they talk has always been interesting to me and Gordo hits it perfectly.

For those who aren’t familiar with Gas Cap, he usually is in the race with a Hyundai or something extremely out of the ordinary. For example, he raced the Daytona 500 in a mini-van because he had kids with him he was watching.

“Bits Are Fun”

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First, Junior, the fake Goose Gosselin is a brilliant bit. You guys hear that this morning? Every time fake Norm would start a sentence, the fake Goose would complete it. Norm throws out a number….and Goose interrupts stating that it’s the Gross National Product of Chad….estimated 2006. HAA!! Funny shit, guys….keep that up.

Second, and this is for the real Norm, shut up about Roy Williams. To say that horse-collar tackles make him a dirty player is stupid. Players have been doing it since the NFL began….so don’t tell me he’s a dirty player. Nobody said shit about it in Pop Warner, Junior High, High School, College, or even his first couple years as a pro. You more than anyone should know about how difficult it is to teach an old dog new tricks. ie, you can’t even open your own fucking emails, dude!

I love ya, Norm, and I’ve got great respect for you but when you’re wrong…you’re WAY wrong. And stubborn to boot.

Norm, stay soft.

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This morning I called into the Musers to throw my HSO on the Barber vs Jones debate we talk about a lot lately.  I had exact facts of the game against the Lions and wanted to share my thoughts and talk sports.  Oddly enough, first try, the phone rings so I’m pumped.  Then the phone is answered and you hear that squirrel meets Robin Leach voice, “Heeyllow..”  As my skin begins to crawl, I get to my point.

“Hey I just wanted to shoot some sports points about the Barber / Jones battle with regard to yesterdays game.”  FerMA’AMdo quickly interrupts me and says, “UmmYEEahhh, weee tawlked aBOWT this last weeeeeeek.”  He then hangs up the phone.

Since I didn’t get to respond before he cock blocked me, here’s what I wanted to say, “NO SHIT DOUCHE BAG!  SO YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU TALKED ABOUT THE STATS FROM YESTERDAY’S GAME LAST WEEK???  YOU ARE A TOOL AND YOU NEED TO ACT LIKE YOU ENJOY YOUR 20K A YEAR JOB OR GO BACK TO WASHING DISHES!”

Anyhow, here was my point regarding how Barber helps us score and Jones doesn’t always give his all:

1. Drive 1 - Jones in - decent runs, but also missed wide open lanes to run to the sideline, 50 yd FG missed.
2. Drive 2 - Barber in - 3 and out, punt.
3. Drive 3 - Barber in - 20 yd TD run by Barber.
4. Drive 4 - Jones in - 3 and out, punt.
5. Drive 5 - Barber in - 8 yd TD catch by Barber.
6. Drive 6 - Jones in - 1 first down, punt.
7. Drive 7 - Barber in - 1 yd TD run by Barber on 4th down.
8. Drive 8 - Jones in - drive ended with fumble.
9. Drive 8 - Barber in - 16 yd TD catch by Witten.

So Jones was 0-4 in scoring and Barber was 4-1.  If we go back and look at the year, I’m sure the stats will be very similar.

No harm intended Ferdynando.  I like ya, just not right now.

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